PTSD – sleep disorders/nightmares
You would be surprised to find out that sleep disorders are closely linked to PTSD, snoring, sleep apnoea (the disorder where you hold your breath in ur sleep, or it appears that you have stopped breathing), sleep walking. Well ain’t I just “chuffed to rocks” as they say, as I now clearly suffer from all three.
It may sound weird but it took a few years for my ptsd to progress to the stage it is at now, you could say the last 3 years have been an absolute nightmare for me. Don’t get me wrong my ptsd didn’t happen overnight, I knew it was there, but during my military career I just kept “soldiering on” then when I left the army in 2003 my symptoms built up over 10 years, to the point I gave in and had to get help, either that or I wouldn’t be here today.
Trust me when I say taking that first step in accepting within yourself that you need some sort of input to help you get through each day is one of the hardest steps to take. Anyway back to the sleep disorders.
As many of us know who have ptsd, we can sometimes predict when we are going to have a bad night, something happened that was on the news that’s sets off the anxiety and panic attacks, damn how I wish my fella wouldn’t insist on watching the news every single night, but then again I don’t have to stay in the same room when it’s on, but it becomes addictive. Watching this world we live in fall apart, after all its practually making my dreams come true.
Now for the sake of my sanity and everyone else’s I wonder delve into the details of my dreams, what I will say is that they are powerful enough to set off a sleep walking event, one got to the stage where I almost killed myself going head first down the stairs, and only last week I tore the curtains and the railings off the bedroom window. How the hell do I try to explain my thinking to my partner. Well there lies another story, he says I don’t talk to him I don’t tell him how I’m feeling, so here I done a blog and told him to read it, I guess he still hasn’t found the time. Yes that pisses me off big time, winge over on that one.
It’s not even weird to me when I’m online ie Facebook at 3 in the morning and I see friends and colleagues on line posting about being awake at stupid o’clock in the morning, we know better than to turn round and ask why? Or so what was your latest dream about? We will leave that to a more therapeutic environment. But what is that as we don’t have a shrink or counsellor on call, so when we see each other online the jokes start flying, the squaddie sense of humour, or the humour that gets us through the next hour or so, till we feel safe enough to shut our eyes in the hope that the last hours of sleep we try to catch will be a blank dream or something that won’t wake us up in a cold sweat, screaming “GET DOWN” or even trying to evacuate the house.
I rip the piss and sometimes think my fella doesn’t understand, but sometimes just a touch on my arm, or him saying my name or even turning the TV on in the middle of the night, can bring me back to the hear and now, but I do feel sorry for him as now as my ptsd progresses on a daily basis, he has to suffer my snoring that could bring a hanger down xx
So guys and girls if ur partner has noticed ur snoring getting worse or u have even stopled breathing during ur slept, time to visit the doc to get referred to the sleep clinic to see if there is anything they cannot do, apart fom stick a ball gag in your mouth.
Well at this point I’ll wish you all a good night, till we meet again at 3am xx love and hugs xx c xx